I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
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