dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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