and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
