i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
