I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
