she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
