Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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