We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
