I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
