Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Drunk is a universal language darling
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
