i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Holy shit dude........stairs
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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