so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
