I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
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