I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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