Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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