I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
