At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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