it wasn't lemon gatorade
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize