College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
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So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
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Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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