2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Randomize
