the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
