Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
