I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
The air taste purple.
Randomize
