I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
