Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
You know, be my cock's hype man.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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