i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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