Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
