he shaved USA in his pubs
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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