i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
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