do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
