do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
