I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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