Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
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