very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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