I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Randomize
