awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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