Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
