and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
