at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
