Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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