i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
