She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize