if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
