that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
