I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I FOUND THE LEGS
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize