how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Congratulations! We have a period
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