can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
