We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
It's official drugs can't kill me
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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