Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize