I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Randomize
