we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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