The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
