His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize