I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Randomize
