he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
