Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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