Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i just made my gag reflex go away.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
