she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
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