i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
