Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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