Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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