Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
