Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize