I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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