some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
you never un-have a 4some
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
